Glutonny

I am at a point where I believe I am eating myself to glutonny. I feel awful and disgusting. I have my next feel this week, but my weightloss has really slowed down. Well, not slowed down, but I have lost some and gained them all back! :(( That's about 1.5 kg off and then back on again. I feel some restriction but it just doesn't seem to stop me. I'm scared I'm going to do something to my band.

To be honest I am no where near eating as much as before the band, but I know that I eat more than I should be! I am going to see a dietician too this week. So I will see how it goes... Hopefully it will help me get some things straight. I'm sure I'm doing something I shouldn't to be able to get down so much.

I feel ewwww about myself right now :(

Fills

I had my first fill and went up to 4ml about 4 weeks ago. It really did nothing for me and I've been very upset that I can eat huge meals despite the band! I was then at the doctors for my second fill just last week. Doc added another ml which brought me up to 5ml in my band. I have no idea what type of band I have, but even though I can feel a little more restriction than I ever did before, I can still eat a full meal if I push myself!

I am very grateful to have my third fill this afternoon! I think I will finally be able to reach that "sweet spot". Oh how I long to feel it! I have never really been a big eater. My problem has always been eating the wrong food at the wrong time, and not eating regularly. However, I can't get over how obsessed I now am with food.. more than I have ever been in my life! And since I can still eat due to insufficient fill, I do eat! :( Ahh it's just playing with my mind. "You can still eat, so go for it while you can!"

I have been losing just about 1 kg per week. I am pretty happy and proud about this, but I have been working out 4-5 times a week and at least 3 of those days consists of rigorous cardio workouts. Maybe if I wasn't able to eat this much, I might end up losing faster since I am quite committed to regular exercise. Well, we will just have too wait and see. I will be posting up latest photos today or tomorrow.

I still don't feel the full effect of having the lapband, so I am really looking forward to it despite how difficult it may be. I want to feel it! :))

First Post-Op Appointment

I was supposed to have my first fill today, but it didn't work. Not happy Jan!!!

After driving up for over an hour to my doctor's clinic, it just didn't happen. At first my doc said it might be too early and tender for my first fill, but he gave it a try. After twisting and turning the syringe in my tummy to find the port, unfortunately he was unsuccessful. He gave me another doctor's name and number for my first fill. Apparently she is the best at fills. I actually thought wtf?! However, I need to make an appointment to get my first fill within 1-2 weeks. I will be making the call tomorrow morning and hopefully I can get an appointment for next week.

I am a little disappointed as I was looking forward to feeling some restriction. Even though it felt disgusting and I was about to chuck up into my doctor's lap while I could feel the syringe jabbing into my band, it would have been worth it if I had gotten my fill. Anyhow, I guess everything happens for a reason. So another week or two... Patience!

He didn't weigh me, but I weighed myself just minutes ago. I now weigh 134.5 kg. That is a weight loss of 8.3 kg in 3.5 weeks. I think that's great, but I feel a little discouraged when I think about my sister's weight loss of 20 kg per month for two months in a row. She lost 40 kg in 2 months. Amazing ha? Apparently her case is a record. She was banded in October 2009. She has a lot more to lose than me, and her band was filled a little during operation. Although, I am aware that 8 kg in just a little over 3 weeks is a good result. But you know how it is, you want that extra boost in the first month. I was hoping to be able to lose approx. 15 kg in the first month (after seeng my sister's results). I have been working out so much over the last 2.5 weeks. I guess I will see the results in the near future. As long as it's all weightloss from here onwards.... That is the most important thing. I am very happy to know that I will not go on the scales the next month wondering how much weight I gained!

I'm still new, but I already heart my lap-band!