UPDATE: Below Goal Weight and Maintaining

Wow! I had not realised that I have not been updating for such a long time. It has literally been a year and 1 week since my last post. Well, I can tell you that a looooot has changed since then. I don't even know if anybody is following/reading anymore?

Anyways, let me get to it...

I am currently in Eastern Turkey, up on a mountain so high that sometimes I think my lungs are gonna pop. :) I am here on a 12 month contract to provide linguistic support to US soldiers that are here on a mission. Currently been on the job for over 3 months, but it has been over 5 months since I got here. 

The last year has been awful with band slippage, not being able to find a proper knowledgable doc in Turkey, etc etc... Currently I have no fill, had to have it all removed after being severely blocked, not being able to get any fluids down even. Have been very ill on and off due to continuing deficiencies. However, with the amount of sunlight exposure and a Vitamin D injection, I think I am doing well in that area as I no longer have sore bones. Thank God! However, my blood count and iron level continue to be low...

But, I am not complaining. I am currently a few kgs below goal weight. My goal weight has been to get down to 75kg (from 148kg), and now I weight something like 72kgs. My ideal weight is around 65kg, but I am not fussing, I have reached goal, and my surgeon had told me not to expect to get below 100kg. :)

The only thing I desperately want but cannot get due to financial circumstances is to have my excess skin removed. Unfortunately, it makes me feel like crap. When I see photos of myself standing up, I think I look pretty decent, otherwise I feel sluggish with folds of meat everywhere... especially when photographed in photos while I am sitting down, the excess skin clutters, and makes me look as bad as I feel about myself. Maybe one day... one day I will have enough cash to have that crap removed to feel and look like a normal human being. However, when I go shopping and dress up, I do feel great, I cannot complain about that! I love being treated like the human being I deserve to be treated... It really makes me sad to notice that I actually was treated slightly different in public as an overweight woman. I get a lot of attention from males, and a whole heap of compliments too. Does it feel good? Sure does! But it pisses me off too! Big time!

Anyways... Once I get back to Australia, I need to have enough cash to have my lapband surgery reversed and to get the sleeve. I mean, yes, I have no fill right now, and I have been maintaining my weight, but still, I know that if I ever fall pregnant (I hope to one day), I will get back to my old ways, and I need the assistance that WLS provides. Argh, the cost of all this does not make me happy, and does not make it easy, but one has got to do what one has got to do...

WLS is not easy, but if you stick to it and be patient, it really pays off.

Here are some of my latest photos... for inspiration...

A facial close up from last week

T

This is from yesterday, so it is my most recent photo

A side shot from yesterday... just see my older posts for a comparison...

This is about a month old, and taken at my work place and home. I live on a mountain in Eastern Turkey... a very different experience... a adventure and a journey I appreciate...

This was also from last week

And this one is about a month old...

So I am 1.64m tall, and weigh approx. 72 kg at present... My bottom half I am not so upset with, but my back and arms have heaps and heaps of fat, excess skin that bothers me... but I should be grateful... and I am... but I am also a woman, and I complain :P

To all of you out there who are struggling to lose weight and/or maintain their weight loss, I wish you all the best, I know that it is very very difficult... not only physically but also emotionally...

Progress / Comparison Photos: Halaluliah It's Working! :))

I skipped almost a month by mistake. I try to keep a record of how I'm doing at least once a month... So my apologies to both you and myself. :))

Anyhow, I just took photos minutes ago to post up, but this month I also wanted to compare with my pre-op photos.

Let's go down memory lane... I sound like the lady on Playschool (does that even play anymore?). :)

The photo that made me realise I had to do something... Exactly 2 years ago from today!

This phto was taken 10-11 months ago... 2-3 months prior to my surgery... I was waiting... but I wasn't getting any thinner...

My first set of photos after surgery... I had lost almost 9kg post-op.

And today....

at 114.2 kg! Although I must admit jeans do make me look a little more stocky than I actually am lol

I am very proud of what I have achieved. I am almost half way to my ultimate goal. I have lost a total of 34.5kg in the last 9 months. I have had many ups and downs. At the moment I am struggling with blockages due to stress. My band feels very tight, but I haven't had any fills for over 2 months. Life is a little tough at the moment, so any stress (I've been told and read) may cause the band to feel tighter. I plan to go to the clinic the following week. It doesn't make it difficult to breathe, but I just have really bad heartburn. I need to find out why.

Anyways... The weight has been dropping off at a good speed lately.. better than months 3-4-5-6 thankfully :) So all in all I'm one happy gal. :) However, I expect it to slow down any time soon --- I don't want it to, but it's bound to happen I guess.

So yeah that's all from me today and it's quite late so I might get some shut eye.

xoxo

Slowly does it...

It has been a little over 7 months since the surgery...

The weight loss has not been as fast as it is for some and not as slow as it is for others... Nonetheless, we all have different body shapes and systems and eating habits and problem areas, and etc. etc... So what matters is the fact that we continue to lose weight!

Mine was very slow during months 4-5-6 with losses of 0.5 kg to 2 kg per month. It did make me feel down, but I always thought a loss is a loss.

Now, for the last month I have been a little worried that my metabolism will sort of crash because it is the month of Ramadhan where Muslims fast (abstain from eating, sexual activity, etc from dusk to dawn) for a period of 1 month. Obviously we need to eat frequently but in smaller portions compared to our pre-banding state and this was not possible for me during the past month. Anyhow, it hasn't been too bad with a loss of approximately 2 kg, but I hope and plan to lose approx 3 during the following month.

Today is our last day of fasting for the year and the celebrations begin tomorrow. So we shall see how that all goes.

In the meantime, some more photos to share.. :)

This is from last week... Weight @ 119 kg

This is a 'fresh' photo :) from today. Weight @ 119 kg

Side shot from today :) I apologise for the link at the bottom of the photos. They are from another of my fashion-related blogs. :)

A few months down the track and updates...

Okay, much has happened in the last few months...

I was away in Turkey on a business+holiday trip. Just got back a couple weeks ago.

As for my band... I am still happy with it... It's been 6 months, and I just wish I had the means and opportunity to have it done earlier as I know that I would have been even lighter now. But nevermind, at least I have it now! :)

I had previously heard from other bandsters that they experienced many problems when they travelled, and some had told me that they feared blockage, so they just got some fill removed before their travels. However, I also noticed those people gain back many unwanted kilograms during their travel.. So instead I wanted to go to my fill doc as frequently as 2 times every 3 weeks in order to observe very well how my body reacts to any fill that I get.

I chose to get 0.2 ml fill on my last fill before travelling, and was happy all throughout my trip. I couldn't eat much, felt the restriction, regurgitated a few times when I didn't chew well or ate too fast. That was about it. No fuss, no complaints. I enjoyed eating a little of everything. The only down side to all this was, my husband would order a separate meal, and he would finish off my leftovers. So he gained around 5-6 kg. However, he loses fast, so now he weighs less than what he did before going there.

Although I ate little and walked heaps during my trip, I didn't lose as much as I expected. I lost around 3.5 kg during my 6 week trip, which is still good. However, I lost another 3-4 kg in the 2 weeks that I've been back. So that's a bonus!

I was very upset taking off from Melbourne-Australia, as I thought with the weight I had already lost, I would not need an extension belt during the flight. BUT I DID! So embarrassing. :( HOWEVER, I didn't need one on the way back. So woohoo to that! :)

I have been getting compliments from many people as they have started to notice the changes in my body. I can see my body starting to tone up, change shape... I may not be losing as many kgs, but something is still happenning... My body is changing... I can fit into many things I couldn't get my arm through only a few months ago! It's a wonderful feeling, and I just can't wait to drop down to 100 kg! I wonder if I can do it by New Years? 15 weeks? Hmm I don't think so... Maybe 10-12 kg more by then seems more possible? But I will be happy with that too. :)

And here are some photos...

This photo was taken during our first week in Istanbul... What you see behind me is the historical Maiden Tower. Weight was approximately 129 kg

Taken again in Istanbul, only a day before the top photo. So same weight :) This here is a minature of the Sumela Monastery that is actually located in Trabzon in the Black Sea Region. This is only one of the many miniatures that can be found at Miniaturk which is an open-air musem in Istanbul where the miniatures of all monuments/touristic attractions in Turkey are on display. The detail is just amazing. It is also wonderful for those who are unable to travel all around Turkey to see the the actual places.

This was also taken at Miniaturk. My husband and I had a go at 'looking' like Ottoman Sultans. :) I edited the photo to make it look a little ancient. The original colours were too bright and looked as fake as it actually is haha

Towards the end of our trip, with a birds eyeview of Bursa (another city significant to the history of Turkey), this is when I started to notice some more changes in my body... and also my husband's belly! :) But my arms... arghh... They never seem to get slimmer (I know they are from the clothes I try, but they look awful damn it!)...

And the following are my latest photos... Apologies for the bad photo quality thanks to iphone's not so fantastic cam! These are the most up-to-date photos I have as they were just taken last Friday on the 6th of August, 2010. So you be the judge, can you see anymore changes? I can, but what about you? :)

Yup, that's a side-ish shot... Weight @ 122 kg

A-huh! T'is a front-ish shot LOL Weight @ 122 kg

And yeppers, last but not least... a 'profilish' shot; upfront and personal :) Weight @ 122 kg

Toodles!

Glutonny

I am at a point where I believe I am eating myself to glutonny. I feel awful and disgusting. I have my next feel this week, but my weightloss has really slowed down. Well, not slowed down, but I have lost some and gained them all back! :(( That's about 1.5 kg off and then back on again. I feel some restriction but it just doesn't seem to stop me. I'm scared I'm going to do something to my band.

To be honest I am no where near eating as much as before the band, but I know that I eat more than I should be! I am going to see a dietician too this week. So I will see how it goes... Hopefully it will help me get some things straight. I'm sure I'm doing something I shouldn't to be able to get down so much.

I feel ewwww about myself right now :(

Fills

I had my first fill and went up to 4ml about 4 weeks ago. It really did nothing for me and I've been very upset that I can eat huge meals despite the band! I was then at the doctors for my second fill just last week. Doc added another ml which brought me up to 5ml in my band. I have no idea what type of band I have, but even though I can feel a little more restriction than I ever did before, I can still eat a full meal if I push myself!

I am very grateful to have my third fill this afternoon! I think I will finally be able to reach that "sweet spot". Oh how I long to feel it! I have never really been a big eater. My problem has always been eating the wrong food at the wrong time, and not eating regularly. However, I can't get over how obsessed I now am with food.. more than I have ever been in my life! And since I can still eat due to insufficient fill, I do eat! :( Ahh it's just playing with my mind. "You can still eat, so go for it while you can!"

I have been losing just about 1 kg per week. I am pretty happy and proud about this, but I have been working out 4-5 times a week and at least 3 of those days consists of rigorous cardio workouts. Maybe if I wasn't able to eat this much, I might end up losing faster since I am quite committed to regular exercise. Well, we will just have too wait and see. I will be posting up latest photos today or tomorrow.

I still don't feel the full effect of having the lapband, so I am really looking forward to it despite how difficult it may be. I want to feel it! :))

Compliments

Compliments!.. Don't they just get you even more hyped up and enthusiastic on your weightloss?

There are some people in my extended family or my mum's friends who expect you to be literally "skinny" in 3-4 weeks. OR, before they can "SEE" any progress you need to be able to fit into a size 12-14. They make me so mad! They struggle to lose 1-2 kg in a year since they are close to their ideal weight, but they expect the next person to lose 70 or so kilos in around 4-5 weeks. So they wont even compliment you and refuse to see that you are changing.

Then there are those who will compliment your progress and tell you how great you look every week when they see you.

I have a friend who has been telling me she can notice me changing every week. We see each other once a week. There is also someone else who is the same. These people seriously make my day. I mean I really don't want anyone telling me there is any difference when there isn't. However, when I notice the change, and someone else compliments around the same time, this just confirms to me that I am not imagining things or seeing things the way I want them to be.

I really don't have anything to compare to in measurements, but I can definitely see change in my arms, legs, and face even though it has only been 4 weeks and a little over 8 kg down post-op.

I can't wait until the end of next month to take photos and weigh-in. :) Oh, and I am really going to try hard not to weigh myself for at least another two weeks. I will die from curiosity as I will wonder if I have gained/lost or have made no change at all. :) I promise, I will not do it two times every day like I used to. :)

Cheers :)

Progress Photos - February 2010

Okay I know I should actually wait until Saturday to photograph for the actual 4 week progress or even until Monday the 22nd of February to have a full 1 month cycle, BUT I couldn't wait, and most importantly I don't really have the time after today. I didn't want to let it pass. I really want to monitor my own progress on a regular basis. So I will try to stick to dates.

I have not decided whether I will do the next photo/progress post at 8 weeks or full 2 months (22nd of March 2010). We'll see. There is still time for that.

I will need to put the measurements up within the next couple of days. Can't find the measuring tape, argh!

I can't really tell if I have progressed in terms of looks, because I do have photos in one of my previous posts from 2008 where I weighed around 135 kg. So I don't think I look too different compared to that. I wish I had taken full body photos before the operation. Damn!

Anyways, I guess I will have to wait until the next progress photo to see if there is any difference. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and need to keep my body busy busy busy. :)

Scale Hopper

I would like to believe that I am not the only scale jumper. :)

Interesting how we like to keep away from the scales when we know we must be gaining weight, and how we can't keep our hands off it once we put the effort into weight loss.

I for one could not step off the scales in the first 2 weeks! Especially since I almost lost 1 kg per day in the first week. Week 2 was agonising as I probably only lost around 200 grams. It was after the 2nd week that I decided I will not weigh myself before the end of week 3. I also weighed myself yesterday (as noted in previous post) since my doctor did not weigh me.

I am going to weigh myself once more this week (on Friday), then measure myself (I haven't done this at all - the only measurements are the ones the nurse has from my initial weigh-in at my first appointment with my doctor, and I don't have those), and take photos.

I may not be successful at doing this only once every month, but I will try hard not to weigh myself more than two times in a month... except for this month! Remember, I didn't get my fill yet? I will weigh myself at my fill within 1-2 weeks, but I might not record it here. :)

Hmm, I think that will work well. Weigh, measure, and photograph once per month around the 20th-23rd of each month! Yep, I like the idea. I have to work on my will power, because weighing myself so frequently and not seeing any results on the scales is messing up with my mind.

Okay, that's all I have to say for now. Current photos coming soon! :)

Before Photos

I have always loved making memories with my camera. Although, never happy with the resulting photo! I have torn and thrown out most of my full-body photos, but I have kept some in the last couple of years thinking I would like a record of what I looked like before the lapand. Yep, fingers crossed and hopeful to succeed... I am working hard at the moment and it hasn't even been a month yet, so I'm scared that I won't succeed. If I fail this, then there really is no other option.. This is why I am scared.

Anyhow... I have travelled a lot in Turkey, and I was there again just late November in 2009. So almost all of the photos you see below are taken in Turkey. I hope to be able to make prettier memories out of photos including me in them in the not so distant future.

Looking at the photos it seems that my weight has been fluctuating between approximately 135 kg - 149 kg. Now my height is only around 163-164 cm. I had my first lapband appointment at 148+ kg, and went into surgery at 143 kg.

I will have my weigh-in and my first fill tomorrow.. well, technically today! :)

Anywho, the photos! Please note: I don't wear black for religious or cultural reasons. I love colours, but I believe that they don't suit me. It's something to do with my weight. I feel as though when I wear colourful clothing, I will be more visible, weight and all! FYI :)

Here goes...

Ewww... That's the first thing that comes to my mind when I see this photo of myself. I was very tempted to delete this from my hardware, but wanted to save it just so I could look back and see the difference.. I hope! This photo was taken back in 2008 in my Istanbul home, and I weighed approximately 138 kg.

Again, taken in 2008. Galippoli/Turkey. This was taken at the Troy site.

Weight approximately 135 kg.

2008, Troy, Galippoli/Turkey. Picturing hubby and I. 

Weight approximately 135 kg.

2008, Galippoli/Turkey. Weight approximately 135 kg.
You can just imagine how much I hate this photo. It disgusts me.

2008, The Bosphorus, Istanbul/Turkey.

Weight approximately 135 kg.

Early 2009, Melbourne/Australia. Weight approximately 149 kg. 

I had a stall at a festival. I can't imagine why I would pose with an ice-cream in my hand? I would not have done it if I was conscious about the fact that I was getting a photo taken. :) I normally do not do that!

November 2009, Istanbul/Turkey. You can see the Blue Mosque (Sultan Ahmet Camii) and the Bosphorus in the background.

Weight approximately 148 kg

November 2009, Istanbul/Turkey. You can see the Blue Mosque (Sultan Ahmet Camii) in the background.

Weight approximately 148 kg

November 2009, Istanbul/Turkey. By the way, my friend is 5 months pregnant!!!

Weight approximately 148 kg

December 2009, Melbourne/Australia. At a friend's wedding.

Weight approximately 146 kg.

I'm back and banded! :)

Yup! 22 January 2010.... After waiting 12 months for my health insurance to kick in, then another month for Xmas and New Years holidays to be over... Then it arrived... :)

I am now happily banded for a little over three weeks. Rapid weightloss recorded in the first week, but nothing else in the last two weeks despite sweating it off on the treadmill and trying not to eat more than 500 calories a day. Although I cannot say that I am managing too well in the last two days. Lucky for me I will be going for my first post-op appointment on Wednesday this week, and as far as I know I will be getting my first fill. Yippee! :)

This is me about 9 hours after the operation. Mum had come to visit me and she was quite upset to see me so pale and drowsy. Ahhh, mums... I love her!

I am morbidly obese

Hi,

My name is E, and I am morbidly obese.

I felt like I am at one of those meetings where everybody introduces themselves...

Anyhow, besides the fact that I am morbidly obese, I am almost 31 years old (in May), I am a professional translator, and I also have a boutique. Had I mentioned that I am morbidly obese? :)

I have started this blog with the intention of continuing it (fingers crossed) mostly for myself, and also because I couldn't really find any weight-loss blogs by muslim women. Why is this important?

Well, we too live in this society, in this world, and we too have the same problems, and I like to share. So, why not?! :)

I should also note that I am a candidate for the lapband surgery. I have been researching about the procedure for the past 4-5 years, and have reached the conclusion that I need to have the surgery done (discussed the matter with my GP of course!). I have attended a seminar held in Melbourne by the Centre for Bariatric Surgery. I have also arranged an appointment for a consultation with a doctor specilising in the area. My consultation is on 24 April, 2009. It could have been sooner, but my private health insurance will not kick in before December 2009 :( so yeah, it was convenient enough...

However, with a BMI of approximately 53, I would like to lose some weight before the surgery. So, I will use this blog to share my experiences and progress.

This must've been boring to read, but what's done is done, and it's just a one-time intro, so I guess you can endure. :)

E.

P.S. I do not want to enter any stats just yet. I think I want to do that only after I have the surgery. I'm also not too sure how I would feel if someone I know reads my blog and comes up to me to say, "Wow, I never knew you weighed so much!" So yeah, for now I'll keep it to myself, but I will at least put photos up from time to time. :)

Cheating one's way to losing weight... You really think?

"For basketball players, desperation is the full-court shot at the buzzer. For accountants, desperation is 11:59 p.m. on April 15*. For parents of an antsy kindergartner, it's a malfunctioning Spongebob DVD. But for prople struggling with weight issues, desperation is the feeling that comes when you've morphed from being overweight to going overboard. But here's the difference between most desperate situations and this one: While basketball players rarely make full-length heaves and 1040s can't be completed in sixty seconds, people with extreme weight situations do have a little raft that can change desparation to salvation: weight-loss surgery.

Most people view weight-loss surgery the way they view steroids in sports - that it's cheating, it's unnatural, it's an unfair advantage, it's cutting corners. But there are plenty of people -way too many, in fact- who have coffin-enticing obesity in the form of a body mass index of 35 or higher, with consequences like diabetes and high blood pressure. And for this segment of the population, especially if they have repeatedly tried and failed at a diet and excercise regime, weight-loss surgery may be an effective solution.

Some people simply can't lose weight lik everyone else and often beat themselves up about being undisciplined or out of control. Many are very disciplined, successful, and in control in other aspects of their lives but are just wired differently in the weight department. Finally, there's a real alternative for people who are incapable of succeeding without help: weight-loss surgery.

In nearly every other medical situation in our lives we experience a symptom, we try to treat it ourselves, and then we seek professional help if we can't. We need to start thinking about obesity as if it's any other health problem that prompts you to see a doctor - be it a bullet wound, a lump in your breast, or cholesterol numbers that need commas.

The truth is that many people have tried every over-the-counter antiobesity option; they have a library of diet books, a garage full of exercise equipment, and neurons full of frustration. But no matter what they try to do to lose weight, they either can't take it off or can't keep it off. For these people, the answer isn't always the over-the-counter way, because a life of obesity requires more than a commitment to a three-day all-juice fast or some ab machine that claims to banish your belly using electrodes. Heavy-duty bodies require heavy-duty help.

And that's OK. If you -or someone you love- falls into this category, then you have a serious condition that should make you feel you'd do whatever you could to try to reverse it. Technically, it's defined as 100 pounds** above the ideal weight for men and 90 pounds*** above the ideal weight for women, or men with 48-inch waists or larger and women with 41-inch waists or larger.

Think for a second: If you had a prostate or breast cancer (which both have about the same risk of death per year for people over fifty as does a waist size of 38 for women and 45 for men with risks like high blood pressure, sleep apnea, diabetes, and cholesterol problems), you'd take action. You'd talk to doctors, you'd schedule surgery to remove the tumor, and you'd make lifestyle changes that would help lower the chance that you'd ever contract the disease again. You wouldn't pop a cough drop, then throw up your hands in defeat if menthol weren't the magic tumor killer. You'd get a professional -even drastic- help. You would even let someone cut you open if the therapy was effective.

It's a mistake to think you're a weakling or a fool if you consider the operation option. Morbid obesity (morbid!) is as concrete a health problem as a sprained ankle, a heart problem, or cancer. In fact, at least 5 percent of morbidly obese people have a specific genetic problem that renders their brains unable to receive the leptin signals that they're full. So no matter what the cause of your weight problem, there's no shame in seeking one of the most effective cures for obesity that modern medicine has developed. Weight-loss surgery works. And it works more effectively -and faster- than any traditional dieting method for people with morbid obesity. Surgery can reduce your excess weight by half, whereas weight-loss drugs get you only 5 percent to 7 percent while you are on them, and lifestyle changes buy you on average another 7 percent total of weight if you're on your best behavior.

The success of weight-loss surgery is defined by the loss of excess weight - that is, not how much total weight you lose, but rather the difference between your current weight and your ideal weight.

...

Surgical options aren't for people who are just a little overweight. They're not for people worried about losing their runway-model job or their clothes not fitting. They're for people whose health is at extreme risk, who are four fries away from putting the grave-digger on speed-dial, because the effects of excess fat increase your risk of developing such day ruiners as coronary artery disease, hypertension, sleep apnea, infertility, chronic back pain, hernias, infections, gallstones, and depression."

-Michael F. Roizen, MD and Mehmet C. Oz, MD, "The Insider's Guide to Easy and Permanent Weight Loss: You On A Diet", pp. 340-342, Harper Thorsons, 2006


* This is mid-year for Australia (Taxation)
** 45.45 kg
*** 40.91 kg